You're a fire
The refiner
I wanna be consumed
I wanna be tried by fire
Purified
You take whatever you desire
Lord, here's my life
I wanna be tried by fire
Purifed
You take whatever you desire
Lord, here's my life.
— Maverick City, Refiner.
This year began with a funeral.
My aunt passed away on 27th December, and it shook the family in a way we hadn’t anticipated. Her battle with cancer seemed to be going well. I had seen her in August, and we sat and talked about health, memories, and hopes.
She was happy to see me, but I became worried that she might be losing faith.
When she passed, I had caught a horrible flu.
Throughout Christmas week, I prayed that it would pass so I could enjoy the mac and cheese, salmon, and all the trimmings that come with a Christmas meal.
By Christmas morning, my taste buds were returning. Two days later, I had lost my appetite again. Two days after that was my birthday.
The funeral seemed to drag through January, but we banded together as a family and saw my aunt off. I embraced my cousins and siblings, reconnected with old friends and family members.
And I realised that faith is something we need if we are going to make it through times we don’t understand.
I’ve had a few moments in recent years that have challenged me:
Losing more people than I can count since 2018.
Being unemployed for about eight months now, having not held a job for longer than six months since leaving journalism.
Pulling out of my therapy diploma because it wasn’t going in the direction I’d hoped.
Leaving a job in mental health because I ‘wasn’t the right fit.’
Clearing £15,000 of credit card debt while not having a stable income to begin with.
Dropping out of a master’s programme, realising I was pursuing it for the wrong reasons.
Writing a book that didn’t perform commercially.
Being in financial precarity since 2018.
My mother’s growing health concerns.
The list could go on, but by the time I was at the funeral, lowering my aunt’s coffin into the grave, I thought:
If only I had more faith.
There’s a Bible verse that has captured my heart during this journey of deepening my faith:
That the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honour, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love.
1 Peter 1:7
This verse is a reminder that the testing of our faith, the trials and tribulations we face, are not random or punitive; they serve a deeper purpose.
I know, it’s hard as humans to reconcile the feeling of not knowing and trusting.
These trials are meant to refine us, to make our faith purer, stronger, and more genuine. I love that it draws a parallel to gold.
Gold is precious because it endures the fire. It is tested, purified, and refined.
But what happens in today’s culture is that we often confuse this refining process with punishment.
The truth is, faith that has never been tested is shallow. It’s not rooted.
It’s easy to profess faith when things are going well, but what happens when life throws challenges our way?
What happens when things don’t go our way, when we don’t have control?
That’s when we see what our faith is made of.
If you’re a believer, it’s easy to love God when you’re receiving blessings, but when things get tough, we discover what we truly believe.
This is true even if you aren’t a believer but have some belief in a cosmic order.
The fire does not destroy, it refines. Just like gold, the impurities of our character and hearts are burned away in the heat of life’s difficulties.
Peter encourages us to rejoice in these trials.
Sometimes, I wish I could have sat with these apostles, grabbed them by the face, and forced eye contact, urging them to give me clear instructions on what to do next.
But he says, rejoice!
That’s a tough command to swallow when you're in the middle of a struggle.
It feels counterintuitive.
I guess the point he’s making is that trials serve a purpose far greater than our immediate understanding. They help us develop the genuineness of our faith. And that’s what God wants from us: a faith that is real, authentic, and tested.
We all face trials. Every single one of us. We’re all sent tests that challenge us in ways we never expected. These trials shake our worldviews, push us to question our perception of reality, and force us to rely on God more deeply.
Sometimes it feels like everything around us is breaking down, and it’s in these moments that God is doing His most powerful work in us.
He’s refining us, shaping us, and moulding us into the men He’s calling us to be.
We might not always see it in the moment, but every challenge, every moment of pressure, is a chance to develop a deeper faith.
Here’s the thing: God isn’t punishing us. He’s preparing us.
He’s preparing us for something greater. If gold had feelings, I’m sure it would resent the fire.
But the fire is exactly what makes it valuable. Similarly, we may resent the pain and the struggle, but it’s the struggle that will reveal the strength and resilience that God is building within us.
So, in the middle of your struggle, don’t let today’s culture convince you that you’re being punished.
Recognise it for what it is: a refining process.
And trust that through it all, God is with you, helping you maintain faith, guiding you through the fire so you can emerge stronger, purer, and more aligned with His purpose.
Faithfulness is not about how perfect we are in the good times; it’s about staying grounded and trusting in God’s refining work, even when life gets tough.
Keep pushing through, because the reward for enduring the fire is a faith that is far more precious than gold.
Thanks for reading.
Hope it helps in some way.